Cures for Boredom
by Satan Abraham
Summary: Brianna was bored. What better to do than to taunt Drake? [takes place, like... during plague, or between lies and plague, or something] [kind of drake/brianna] [rated t because drake] [oneshot]


Brianna was bored.

It wasn't that she _wanted_ Drake to be on the loose, or for something to attack them, because that ended with people dying and she _guessed_ that was a bad thing – but, okay, she totally wanted Drake to be on the loose or for something to attack them. She wanted to fight something. She wanted to kill something, and coyote hunting had gotten _really boring._ They were just so _slow_ and now that they were used to her going up there and killing them off they'd gotten better at hiding.

At the moment, she was bouncing from foot-to-foot at such a rate that it looked like she was standing still with no feet. But even this didn't freak anyone out anymore.

She was _so bored._

Maybe she could pay Drake a visit. He was chained up under Howard and Orc's house, and even though she 'couldn't kill him' because 'that would be killing Brittany too' and that was ' _wrong,_ Brianna', she could still make taunt him. Make fun of him, for being caught like that.

She was there in five seconds. She didn't bother knocking, just blew in. Orc was sitting on the couch, drinking. Howard was hunched over something. He jumped about ten feet in the air when she showed up.

"Hey, is it Drake?" she asked. Howard swore, swept whatever he was doing in a bag, and glared.

"Listen," he said.

From the basement – _"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU FAT USELESS PILE OF ROCKS! YOU TOO, YOU LITTLE WEASEL, I'LL WHIP THE SKIN OFF OF YOUR BACKS AND-"_

And on and on and on.

"That would be a yes," Howard said. "Why?"

"Can I see him?" Brianna asked. She twirled her machete around. No reason. Just because. Totally because of the nervous look Howard was giving it.

"It's gonna cost-"

She flipped him a 'Berto and it disappeared into his pocket faster than _she_ could have gotten it into her pocket.

Ha ha, that was a joke. _Nobody_ was faster than her. She was the _Breeze._

"Orc, let her into the basement," Howard said. He picked up his backpack and left the house. Orc heaved a great sigh and stood. He lumbered over to the basement door and shoved a dresser aside. She snapped off a salute to him and was down the stairs faster than he could reply.

Drake stopped screeching when he saw her. He was tied up, all chained to a chair with his whip writhing madly at his side, but he just sat with his mouth hanging open when he saw her.

She was still twirling her machete.

"Hey, Drake," she said. She grinned.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. A little guarded. She really wanted to cut him up into little pieces right about now. She heard a hard _thud_ and glanced up the stairs to see Orc sitting down in front of the basement door. Huh. So he wasn't locking her in.

"Can't I want to see you? And make fun of you for being caught?" Brianna asked. She laughed. "If it was me, I would've chopped you up, but I guess they're worried about Brittany?"

Drake spat at her, but she sped to the other side of the basement before it was a centimeter from his mouth. She was behind him now, and he craned his neck to try and see her. She laughed again.

"You look so funny tied up like that," she said. "And so _mad."_

"I'm gonna get out of here and whip you until you _beg_ me to kill you," he snarled, and Brianna tilted her head to the side.

"You couldn't catch me," she said. "It's hard even when you have legs. And it'd be hard to whip you if you're whip's gone."

"Oh you _absolute bitch,"_ Drake spat. He writhed a little bit more in his chair, the whip whipping around and writhing wildly. It hadn't stopped moving since she'd gotten downstairs, which was amusing. "It's hard to _run_ when your kneecaps are _shot out."_

"I'm the Breeze."

Drake snorted. If Brianna hadn't enjoyed taunting him so much, she would have thought that it would have sucked that he was a psychopath. Because even all dirty and tied up, he was cute. She'd like him more if he was in pieces, though.

She got a little closer, as close as she dared. If his whip was free, then, _then_ they could have some fun. She could dart around and he could snap at her and she could make him angry and it would, overall, be something to cure her boredom. But the whip was just twitching at the ground stirring up dirt and dust and dropped pieces of food.

"They actually feed you?" she asked, frowning. "Aren't you a zombie?"

He just snarled at her, and she darted forward to poke him in the middle of the forehead. She darted away immediately, but she must have misjudged it because the chair he was on toppled backward. He hit the ground hard, and his eyes widened, it was nice to see that he could still feel some sensations, even though he was dead. She looked down at him, smiling widely.

"Oops," she said.

"I _SWEAR AS SOON AS I GET OUT OF HERE, YOU'RE DEAD. BUT NOT RIGHT AWAY. I'M GOING TO MAKE IT LAST. YOU JUST MADE IT ON THE LIST, BRIANNA. I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR KNEECAPS AND LEAVE YOU ON THE GROUND UNTIL YOU'RE BEGGING ME TO KILL YOU, DO YOU HEAR ME? I-"_

"As much as I would love to listen to you screech while watching you writhe around on your back, I should get going," Brianna said. She nudged the side of his head with her foot, and he tried, unsuccessfully, to bite her shoe. She laughed a little. "Cute."

With Drake shrieking behind her a little more bounce in her step, Brianna left, humming to herself. She should make that a regular thing, at least until Sam or Astrid learned about it and told her that it wasn't 'appropriate' or 'necessary at all, really' or 'why would you even want to do that, oh my god.'

* * *

 **This was requested by a user on Tumblr who wanted a Drake/Brianna, and I was like "hm… this should be an interesting thing" because the situation. It has to be right. So I was like – TIE DRAKE UP HAVE BRIANNA TAUNT AHAHA PERFECT. So that was fun.**


End file.
